You know, watching a recession happen in New York is a venture full of contradictions and neat, little twists. There are a variety of opinions on the topic-the alarmists, of course, wonder if this is the beginning of the end for New York (at least for the decadence and excess that it seems to represent these days). Others claim that this is just what we needed-something to bring the i-bankers and heroin-chic fashionistas down a notch and restore New York to its former, more accessible blue-collar glory. I won’t get into the ideology behind all of this-rather, I think it more enjoyable now that all’s been said and done to note the delightfully macabre, frank, and, well, capitalistic ways that the city has chosen to respond to the economic downturn. One of the most visible signs has been the reappearance of “recession specials,” or dining-out bargains designed to entice New Yorkers to continue to spend their hard-earned money on a truffle oil and porkbelly sandwich which is now $18 at lunch as opposed to $22. While there are some more reasonable and downright tempting recession specials out there, I’d like to draw everyone’s attention to a classic, homestyle one which has been pleasing Spaniards for centuries (and me for quite a while, too). Ladies and gents, I bring you the tortilla.
No, not that flat corn flour thingy. That’s a Mexican tortilla. This is a Spanish tortilla, which is composed of five basic ingredients: eggs, salt, potatoes, onions, and oil. Yeah, that thingy. You may have seen it on tapas menus (speared on four toothpicks) for 8 bucks or so…well, it’s available in your own kitchen for less than half that. The Boy and I have made it part of our own recession repertoire with fantastic results. Really, the only thing keeping most people at bay with Spanish tortillas is ignorance as to how it’s done. Fear not-it’s excruciatingly easy.
What isn’t easy is filtering out the passive-aggressiveness with which most recipe authors approach the dish. Go ahead-google “Spanish Tortilla.” The average resulting link will include a disclaimer about how the tortilla is an individual dish, and everyone makes it differently, so there is no wrong style, blah blah blah. Then the author goes on to warn you that if you use too little oil, or too much oil, or maybe cook it for 30 seconds too long, everyone will stop loving you and you’ll die. Really now. Never fear, though-I have taken it upon myself to wade through the muck of alarmist contradictions to draft a sort of “10 Commandments of Spanish Tortilla Making” (see recipe below). If you should happen to commit a mortal sin and break one, will you go to tortilla hell? No-it will be completely edible and probably quite delicious-really, I find tortilla purgatory to be quite pleasant. These are simply points of agreement among most tortilla mavens.
I like to serve my tortillas warm, in large wedges, with a big green salad, some diced tomatoes, and stuffed green olives. Tapas bars frequently serve it cold, cut into little squares, speared with toothpicks. Really, it’s an individual dish, there’s no wrong way…blah blah blah. 
Go on, get over your fears! Embrace the recession! Celebrate the disintegration of your 401(K)! Have one hell of a tortilla!
Spanish Tortilla (Tortilla Española)
Ingredients:
8 eggs
1 tsp. salt, divided
2 large potatoes, very thinly sliced
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1/2 cup olive oil (oh, don’t have a heart attack, you won’t really use all of it)Directions:
Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. When it is sizzle-hot, drop your potato slices in. Stir them nearly constantly-you don’t want them brown at any point (just soft and cooked through). When they’re about 5 minutes short of done, add your onions to the skillet and season the whole thing with 1/2 tsp. of salt. When the onions are done and the potatoes are soft (you could squish them easily with your spoon-don’t do that, though, it’s just not nice), turn off the heat.
Crack the eggs into a bowl, whisk them slightly with the remaining 1/2 tsp. of salt, and use a slotted spoon to transfer the potatoes and onions from the oil to the egg mixture. Gently press the potatoes down to be mostly submerged in the egg mixture, and let it sit for about 15 minutes. In the meantime, discard the leftover oil in the pan (or save for another use). Wipe the pan with a paper towel (don’t actually rinse the pan-let a small amount of the oil coat the pan’s surface). When the egg mixture is ready, heat the pan over medium-high heat. When it’s hot, add the egg mixture, making sure the potatoes and onions are evenly distributed throughout.
Using a spatula, check the bottom every now and then. You want it to be fluffy and golden, but still light, with the top of the tortilla still very liquidy. Here comes the part that requires a bit of finesse. Place a plate that is larger than the pan upside down over the pan. Gingerly, but quickly, flip the whole thing over. When you lift the pan from the plate, it should all come out neatly and in one piece.
Hooray, you did it! Now put the pan back on the flame and gently ease the tortilla back into the pan, liquid-y side down. Cook this side as well, using your spatula to push the sides of the tortilla down, creating a frisbee-like curved edge to your tortilla. Don’t overcook it-when the other side is done, remove the pan from the heat and slide the tortilla onto a cutting board for serving. It’s really that easy.
“The Ten Commandments of Spanish Tortilla Making”
1. Thou shalt use plenty of oil for frying the potatoes-skimp and you have dry, crispy potatoes. Good for fries, bad for tortillas.
2. Thou shalt swab out most of the oil from the pan before frying the tortilla-we’re not going for greasy, deep-fried eggs here.
3. Thou shalt create a frisbee-like shape with your tortilla. Frisbees please the tortilla-gods. But thou shalt not overcook the tortilla either, because it should not have the texture of a frisbee.
4. Thou shalt cut your potatoes into very thin slices for even, quick cooking and a final, layered effect which is, how you say, pleasant.
5. Thou shalt let your potatoes sit in the egg mixture for 15 minutes before frying the egg mixture so that the ingredients become more cohesive and the flavors marry. This will make you merry. Though shalt not engage in pre-marital tortilla frying.
6. Thou shalt chop the onions finely-failing to do this results in undercooked, harsh-tasting onions.
7. Thou shalt not overbeat the eggs-streaky eggs make a pleasant, full-bodied tortilla. And for heaven’s sake, don’t mash the potatoes into the eggs. This is not authentic.
8. Thou shalt not forsake the plate method and try to flip your tortilla with the spatula alone. You will probably break the tortilla. Then you’ll cry. Then I’ll cry. And the tortilla is salty enough.
9. Thou shalt not walk away and forget about the tortilla. The tortilla needs you to loosen it from the pan often to help it to reach its full potential. And really, if you weren’t ready to meet the tortilla’s needs, you shouldn’t have committed to it in the first place.
10. Thou shalt not believe that $6 for a chunk of tortilla in a tapas bar on a Tuesday night is a good deal. This is cheap food, my chickies.
