Christmastime always makes me think of Chinese food. I know what you’re thinking-wow, her family probably never cooked; they probably ordered in Chinese for the holiday-poor Gen! Au contraire, my sweet poppets, au contraire…you see, I came from a family that dedicated itself to crafting the perfect holiday. Thanksgiving with 15 sides (3 different kinds of jello, but of course), Christmas with a family-style spread that required an extra 8-foot folding table to accommodate the selection, and a traditional Polish Christmas Eve Wigilia meal the night before-all for our humble family of five. So where does the Chinese food fit in? Well, somewhere between my mother’s 3 AM panic attack over getting the house clean enough, my brother’s emotional breakdown (“so many dishes…:::sob::: they just keep coming! Where do they come from?”), and my impromptu nap at the kitchen table (vegetable peeler still in hand, five pounds of potatoes down, only three more to go!), we all got hungry. My aunt would pull out the Chinese takeout menu, and forty bucks later, we were a united front once again, happily chowing down on Moo Goo something-or-other and wondering how the hell we had ended up in this gelatinous, technicolored, gumdrop-studded, whirling, twirling gingerbread house of horrors. That, my friends, is why, as I was decking my halls and ho-ho-ho-ing my way through my cookie list, I was hit by an overwhelming-nay-insatiable desire for Crab Rangoon. Enter today’s recipe.
I baked my crab rangoon instead of frying them, and used Soya-Kaas lactose-free cream cheese in the filling, but the recipe can certainly be fried, and works just the same with regular cream cheese. I served these with steamed brown jasmine rice and rainbow carrots, along with tamari and hot mustard dipping sauces. The great thing about this recipe is that it makes a lot-approximately 48 crab rangoon-making it budget-friendly and an excellent source of leftovers (Crab Rangoon for lunch, anyone?). I recommend eating these with the Christmas lights on, “Jingle Bells” playing in the background, and a sobbing family mem-but wait; that’s my house, not yours.
What you must remember is that no holiday is perfect-not even Martha’s, I’m sure. Perfect holidays may make the cover of “Better Homes…” but they rarely make memories, and I’m pretty damned sure they don’t conjure up cravings for Crab Rangoon. So indulge your mother’s compulsive need to include the three primary jello colors. Peel potatoes ’til you pass out. Embrace the dog when he eats the blinking angel tree-topper (he looks kinda cute with his tummy periodically lighting up like that). The love will get you through. If not, there’s always the nog*.
*Recipe for life-saving nog most likely forthcoming.
Crab Rangoon
Ingredients:
1 package (48 count) wonton wrappers
1 8 oz. package cream cheese
6 oz. flaked crabmeat (high quality canned is just fine)
2 green onions, minced
1 large clove garlic, minced
1 tsp. each tamari or soy sauce, and Worcestershire sauce
approx. 1/4 cup cooking oil (I used grapeseed)Directions:
Preheat the oven to 425F degrees. In a medium bowl, combine all ingredients except for the wonton wrappers and the cooking oil.
Lay out a won ton wrapper with one of the points facing you.
(Yes, those are my plates, and no, I did not steal them from a Chinese restaurant…my mother bought them for me, as a Christmas present, last year
).
Place a teaspoon of filling in the center of the wrapper, and spread it out to make a log-like shape. Resist the urge to overfill, as this will cause them to burst while cooking.
Using your finger, moisten the edges of the wonton with water, and fold the bottom half to the top, pressing all the edges to seal.
Repeat with the remaining wrappers. Place the finished rangoon onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, and, using a pastry brush dipped into the oil, lightly brush both sides of all the rangoon.
Put the rangoon into the oven and bake for approximately 15 minutes, or until both sides are pleasantly browned, flipping once halfway through cooking. Allow them to cool for a few minutes before biting into them-a rangoon scalded tongue, while worth it, is extremely painful. Serve with your favorite dipping sauces and sides. Makes 48. Enjoy!
