If you’ve been following me on Twitter, or are damned cursed lucky enough to be a Facebook friend, you know that my “Confirm Order” finger gets a little itchy, oh, forty times per week. And while I sometimes scratch that itch with a mammoth Barnes & Noble order or, say, the ever-elusive non-sexual Queen of Hearts costume, more often than not, if it’s between December and April, I’m buying seeds. Oh, Lord, am I ever buying seeds.
Last year, Bad Mama Genny’s garden was good. Modest. Manageable. Sane. In other words, so not my style. Well, this year I’ve decided to take action, and the 2010 garden plans are looking…
They are over-the-top. They are sick. They are twisted. They take up six Excel worksheet pages. They are perfect.
In the spirit of full-disclosure, here’s what I’m planting this year (NOTE, THESE PLANS ARE SUBJECT TO COULD POSSIBLY, OH HELL, THEY WILL 100% FOR SURE CHANGE IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS):
- Red Russian Kale
- Buttercrunch Lettuce
- Rainbow Baby Greens
- Red Sails Lettuce
- Green Ice Lettuce
- Chioggia Beets
- Um, regular? beets
- Blue Lake Stringless Green Beans
- French Breakfast Radishes
- Miss Pickler Cucumbers
- Lemon Cucumbers
- Miniature White Cucumbers
- Dwarf Tophat Blueberries
- Dwarf Northsky Blueberries
- Mirai Corn
- Yellow Straightneck Squash
- Fairytale Eggplants
- Cinderella Pumpkins
- Sugar Sprint Snap Peas
- Scarlet Nantes Carrots
- Heirloom Fingerling Potatoes
- Early Butternut Squash
- Celebrity Tomatoes
- Heirloom Brandywine Tomatoes
- Edible Nasturtiums
- Dwarf Cavendish Bananas
- Early Thickset Bell Peppers
- Cascade Hops (for The Boy’s homebrews)
- Willamette Hops (oh, the things I do for love)
- Heirloom King of the Garden Lima Beans
- Alpine Mignonette Strawberries
- Dwarf Cara Cara Blood Orange Tree
But you know, like I said, that’s just so far. I could add plants at any time. With zero warning. And even less of a sense of accountability.
Did I mention these will be almost exclusively container plants? And with any luck, my landlady will not have a cow. Now, it’s still a little early for serious planting in Chicago (HELLOOOO, Friday picnic followed by Saturday snowfall), but my baby misfit garden is already in the works.
While gardening is often a test of patience, squash are infinitely satisfying to watch. These pictures were taken within the 24 hour window between yesterday afternoon and today:
Now let’s watch the snap peas!
All right, so we may have to wait a little on those. Let’s turn our attention to the green pepper and eggplant seeds I started over a week ago:
Sadly, the squash has ruined me for any seed that takes longer than four days to germinate.
Thankfully, sneaking up from behind and watering The Boy still entertains me to no end.