Friends, we may have our differences. We may come from varying backgrounds, different upbringings, a thousand contradictory belief systems, and the hues of our skin may be scattered with the utmost randomness on this great big color wheel we call life. (Wait. What? That didn’t make any sense at all.) In fact, each of us is as unique as a snowflake, with no two alike, and blah and stuff and things. But there is one thing that we all have in common.
We are all choking on an influx of radishes.
Well, okay, so maybe that isn’t happening to ALL of us, but it is happening to anyone who subscribes to a CSA/farmshare box or grows their own radishes (or, uh, in the case of yours truly, both).
Friends, The Boy and I are inundated with radishes from our little urban farm.
DROWNING in radishes.
GAGGING on radishes.
TAKING BUBBLE BATHS with radishes. (Did I just say the quiet part loud again? DAMMIT!)
The other day I couldn’t find The Boy. I called for him everywhere. Checked under the couch. Called the local brewpubs. Looked in the dryer, just in case he accidentally shrunk himself.
(Note to self: write a sitcom pilot entitled, “Honey, I Shrunk The Boy!”)
I even suspiciously eyed the leftovers in the fridge that had become sentient a week prior. The Boy was nowhere to be found.
So as I sat there, weeping gently to myself in a Victorian gown with an embroidered handkerchief pressed to my eyes as I penned his obituary, I heard a faint gagging sound. Turned out, The Boy had merely tripped and fallen deep into the pile of radishes and was attempting to eat his way out.
Sadly, he failed miserably and we still have all these radishes to eat.
But not to worry! See, it isn’t all bad news because, despite the fact that radishes are more than abundant in our home right now, they’re still pretty delicious, and you could ask for worse problems in life than a never-ending radish supply.
The ones we grew are the diminutive French Breakfast variety, which means they’re tender, mild, and gone in two or three bites. It also means they’re ideal for stuffing into a buttered baguette and sprinkling with sea salt. Add a glass of homemade red wine, a beret, a Gauloise cigarette between your lips, and a questionable sense of hygiene, and you may as well be in Paris. Ooh la la!
BUT. If you’re at all like me, you’d like some additional options. You know. For when you feel like shaving your legs again.
That’s where I come in as your personal hero. Buddies, comrades, fellow soldiers in this war on unruly radishes, here are some of the coolest radish recipes I’ve come across on the web.
Asian Slaw with Roasted Peanuts (doesn’t call for radishes, just for chopped vegetables–I’m trying it with radishes tonight)
Radish Cream Cheese Spread (for when you get tired of butter on your baguettes–oh he hahahaha HAHAHAHA BWAHAHA oh ho ho, that was a good one)
Grilled Chicken with Cucumber, Radish, and Cherry Tomato Relish (I could see this being great on fish, too)
Any other great radish obliterating ideas out there? Leave them in the comments section!
Oh, and friends?
I think we’re about to have another problem on our hands: