My Favoritest Stuffs and Things 7.5.2011 and GIVEAWAY, or, My Disturbing Gardening Soundtrack

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My Favoritest Stuffs and Things 7.5.2011 and GIVEAWAY, or, My Disturbing Gardening Soundtrack

July 5, 2011 by Bad Mama Genny

New feature, misfits! “My Favoritest Stuffs and Things!”

Oprah I am not.

And a slammin’ giveaway, too, with details below. But first, a story about my disturbing gardening soundtrack.

So there I was in the cabbage patch, weeding in my gardening tutu (oh, don’t act so surprised), when I was not-so-gently reminded that, oh right, I have a gardening soundtrack.

Now I don’t mean a playlist (per se), though that’s really awesome and I want to hear about yours if you have one. No, my gardening soundtrack comes to me free of charge, courtesy of the “children” across the way and their “dog.” Quotation marks totally necessary, misfits.

One day, in an incident which I won’t go into but which I’d conservatively describe as, oh, MILDLY FUCKING DISTURBING, I discovered that what I thought was the dog was actually the children, and what I thought was the children was actually the dog. Allow me to explain.

The dog sounds like a child. Really. And the children …well…they don’t sound like children.

I present you with an Authentic Bad Mama Genny List of the things the children across the way sound like:
*A mama wolf tearing off the faces of her wolf pups.
*The proverbial chicken trying to cross the road and getting caught in the spokes of a bicycle.
*Arnold Schwarzenegger getting caught by Maria Shriver.
*A malfunctioning rape whistle set to a disco beat.
*Beautiful music, if beautiful music really sucked.
*The squealing of a pig eating a hot pocket which is boiling lava hot in the middle, thanks to the marvel of microwave cookery (Oh, Jim Gaffigan, you ARE the living end!)
*That weird life-size Barbie doll getting melted by a giant magnifying glass…if weird life-size Barbie doll could scream. Though that would never happen. If weird life-size Barbie doll COULD scream, she’d be doing it all the time because OH MY EFFING HELL I AM WEARING PLASTIC HIGH HEELS ALL THE TIME AND ACCORDING TO THE ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT PROPORTIONS OF MY GUMMY THIGHS I DO NOT POSSESS THE QUADRICEP STRENGTH TO MANAGE THIS.
*Two zombies. Making sweet, sweet zombie love. Yeah, I went there.

And speaking of zombies (HELLZ YES, MISFITS, WE’RE TOTALLY SPEAKING OF ZOMBIES! AGAIN! ), it’s time for the first ever edition of my Favoritest Stuffs and Things! Let’s get rolling, shall we?

1. Plants vs. Zombies

Aww, heartwarming. It's good to know the zombies share my feelings about handwritten correspondence.

This is the computer game (gifted to me by my spooky-awesome friend Leonard) that I played for four straight hours the other night. When I went to bed, my eyes burned. From not blinking enough. Which, in case you were wondering, is the new definition of rock bottom.
According to the site, the premise is as follows:
“A mob of zombies is about to invade your home, and your only defense is an arsenal of zombie-zapping plants. Think fast and plant faster to stop the zombies dead in their tracks. And with five game modes to dig into, the fun never dies!”

Misfits…did somebody say “plants”? And, did somebody say, “zombies”? And, were those two somebodies actually just one somebody using the two terms in the same sentence?

I have seen the mountaintop, misfits! I have been to the Promised Land!

Try it free or buy it online for yourself or your favorite misfit homesteader here.

2. Stuck on This City Decorative Tape

Photo from Modcloth.com

I know many of all y’alls are urban homesteaders just trying to keep it real. Somehow I feel that this decorative cityscape tape would help one to keep something real. Just a feeling.

3. The “Flying Fuck” Helicopter

Photo from gadgetsandgear.com

Misfits, it’s an actual flying “fuck.” So you can now, literally, “give a flying fuck”. I’m sorry, I…I…I’m choking up a little. It’s just…so beautiful.

4. Amanda Wachob Tattoo

Photo from AmandaWachobTattoo.com

These tattoos–which totally look UNLIKE tattoos, and more like brilliant watercolor paintings, are blowing my wittle mind. Check out the temporary distilled water tattoos, too–the design is formed by your blood, and disappears as it heals.

5. Sunny Submersible Ice Cube Set

Photo from modcloth.com

These precious yellow submarine ice cubes…oooh! Last year, The Boy bought me an ice cube tray that produced Titanic and iceberg-shaped ice. In return for his awesomeness, he got a summer of my endlessly re-enacting the disaster in my gin gimlets while falsetto-ing “My Heart Will Go On” and promising Leo to never let go, only to go, “Oops! I let go!” two seconds later.

The Boy, he is a patient man.

But what if you wanted to have your own whimsical undercocktail adventures? What if you wanted to falsetto “Yellow Submarine” whilst ~~seriously pissing off~~ ~~testing the patience of~~ entertaining a “The Boy” of your own?

Well, that’s where my giveaway comes in, my twisted little kumquat pastries!

Leave a comment on this post telling me what’s on your gardening soundtrack/playlist, and you’ll be entered into a random drawing to win those ADORABLE little yellow submarine ice “cubes.” Want an extra chance? Follow me on Twitter for the first time, and leave a second comment here telling me that you did! I’ll randomly draw a winner on Monday, July 11th at noon…and announce the lucky misfit shortly after.

Ta, you lovely hot messes, you!

56 Responses

on July 6, 2011 at 12:17 am Giveaway! Win Adorably Snarky Yellow Submarine Ice Cubes | Giveaway Promote | Promote your giveaway for free.

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on July 6, 2011 at 2:52 pm Kristen

80s Music! 🙂
on July 6, 2011 at 8:02 pm Sammi

Something with a loud beat like the Rapture – gardening is kind of dull so you have to spice it up
on July 6, 2011 at 8:47 pm Rose

I guess my gardening soundtrack would be the sound of birds and tractors…unfortunately I’m probably not talented enough to multitask with real music and gardening!
on July 7, 2011 at 3:22 pm christy

i love listening to bluegrass…. Buddy Miller, Allison Krauss…..
on July 7, 2011 at 3:34 pm lou

i love listening to country music when gardening i think it annoys my hubby lol
on July 7, 2011 at 3:35 pm lou

following you on twitter!! @lnguinn
on July 7, 2011 at 4:45 pm Amie

I love to listen to any Cowboy Mouth CD!
on July 7, 2011 at 5:10 pm carmen

i just throw on top 40!
on July 7, 2011 at 7:17 pm Liza

I let the neighbourhood entertain me, and it never fails. Not quite as alarmingly as yours, but I’m starting to know the barks of the dogs who happen by regularly.

Thanks for the chance to win!

–Liza

ejm6x (at) yahoo (dot) com
on July 7, 2011 at 7:31 pm ShootingStarsMag

I think my soundtrack would include “every rose has its thorn”
on July 7, 2011 at 7:45 pm leslie

I like to work outside with some mood music like Astrud Gilberto or Esquivel 🙂
on July 7, 2011 at 8:01 pm Sandy

Let’s see, it’s probably the oldest living garage band in the world (lucky me, I live next door) accompanied by the screams of feral cats fighting and the honking of a thousand Canada geese on the lake down the street. Ahh, summer!
on July 7, 2011 at 8:14 pm oona b

I like to listen to Tribe Called Quest, anything but the wretched autotune music my daughter insists on playing 24-7!
Thanks! foxsquirrelrabbit at gmail dot com
on July 7, 2011 at 8:15 pm oona b

Following you on Twitter (@glasscastle)
Thanks! foxsquirrelrabbit at gmail dot com
on July 7, 2011 at 9:24 pm s.o.n.b.b

i love The Naked And Famous – Young Blood 😀 and coldplay.
on July 7, 2011 at 9:29 pm s.o.n.b.b

following you on twitter as clujfaraflegme 🙂
on July 7, 2011 at 9:42 pm All-Natural Strawberry Rhubarb Sauce Recipe, or, I Totally Forgot I Had Access to a Turtle « The Alchemist

[…] Comments « My Favoritest Stuffs and Things 7.5.2011 and GIVEAWAY, or, My Disturbing Gardening Soundtrack […]
on July 8, 2011 at 9:57 am Marina

Soundtrack from Dirty Dancing 😀
on July 8, 2011 at 9:57 am Marina

I am following you on twitter as isollea.
on July 8, 2011 at 3:56 pm Samantha

the xx is a good gardening soundtrack, no worries, just a free mind, taking in the breeze, waiting every minute for my sunflower to grow
on July 8, 2011 at 5:14 pm Win Yellow Submarine Ice Cubes | FreeBlogGiveaways.com

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on July 8, 2011 at 8:39 pm Dana

i don’t listen to music while gardening..maybe i should
on July 9, 2011 at 1:09 am Zayda Barros

80’s music, all the way!
on July 9, 2011 at 1:11 am Zayda Barros

I follow you on Twitter as FallingInLight
on July 9, 2011 at 3:42 am Marija

I love me some Johnny Cash while I’m working in the yard.

marija.majerle at gmail dot com
on July 9, 2011 at 3:44 am Marija

following you on twitter @mrsclutterbuck

marija.majerle at gmail dot com
on July 9, 2011 at 3:46 am Robin Scott

I like quiet, and the birds are my soundtrack.
on July 9, 2011 at 3:47 am Robin Scott

follow you on twitter
robinlscott
on July 9, 2011 at 5:50 am nanatonickyandscarlett

Lady Gaga, of course!

fastkat at gmail dot com
on July 9, 2011 at 10:06 am Brooke

Sadly my soundtrack is traffic. I live about 5 houses down from Main Street. Not ideal, but at least it’s mine. sort of.
on July 9, 2011 at 4:45 pm Veronica

Usually listen to a friend chattering…
on July 9, 2011 at 6:00 pm ninjabunnyz

Californication!
Can’t live without my Red Hot Chili Peppers!
on July 9, 2011 at 6:00 pm ninjabunnyz

Following on twitter @ninjabunyz1
on July 9, 2011 at 11:49 pm Natalie

Following on twitter

@natlayyy
on July 10, 2011 at 2:40 pm Kimberlee

Until I get an iPod or portable radio, my soundtrack is my own rather poor singing voice!
on July 10, 2011 at 4:23 pm Dana Beeman

My soundtrack for gardening usually consists of Sublime, The Doors, Janis Joplin, & others. 🙂
Dana Beeman: danabeeman(at)gmail(dot)com
on July 10, 2011 at 4:23 pm Dana Beeman

@hazelfinn follows @genevievecharet on Twitter.
Dana Beeman: danabeeman(at)gmail(dot)com
on July 10, 2011 at 6:15 pm Karen Mosteller Grantham

My soundtrack consists of the Grascals and other bluegrass groups, especially gospel bluegrass

granthamkk at yahoo dot com

karen
on July 10, 2011 at 6:16 pm Karen Mosteller Grantham

I am now following you on twitter (kegrantham78)

granthamkk at yahoo dot com
on July 10, 2011 at 8:43 pm jacqueline

mariah carey!!
on July 10, 2011 at 8:43 pm jacqueline

i follow u on twitter
on July 11, 2011 at 4:38 am Melissa Copeland

I am so excited I found your site! I like you!!! My playlist needs some updating because at the moment Avril is singing about not liking my girlfriend:(
on July 11, 2011 at 5:17 am annette anderson

My gardening soundtrack is the sound of my 8 beautiful grandchildren running and playing in our yard near the garden. We are huge garden people and we really put up alot of food for the winter. This year we havent had much rain so our corn didnt make 😦 Anyway laughter and children singing would be my soundtrack.
Thanks, mimilovesall8@yahoo.com
on July 11, 2011 at 5:19 am annette anderson

I followed you on Twitter as andersonann48
Thanks, mimilovesall8@yahoo.com
on July 11, 2011 at 5:42 am Elena

Some drum and bass
on July 11, 2011 at 5:43 am Elena

Follow you on Twitter @elenarudaya
on July 11, 2011 at 3:03 pm Sherry H.

“I’m walking on sunshine” Katrina and the Waves
on July 11, 2011 at 4:58 pm Very, the greatest of Adverbs

Gardening “soundtrack” is actually the voice of Elmer Fudd singing “Kill the wabbits…” As I fortify my chicken-wire enclosure. That, and Bob Dylan (they are potted plants, after all).
on July 11, 2011 at 5:22 pm alchemygen

Contest officially closed, Misfits! Though my, did you ever keep your Bad Mama Genny entertained. Feel free to keep pilin’ on the comments, just without the promise of shiny new stuffs to keep you motivated. Thanks for the comment love, dollfaces!
on July 11, 2011 at 5:27 pm Giveaway Winner Announced, or, Down With Autotuner! « The Alchemist

[…] for entering last week’s contest, misfits! The winner, decided by a random number generator, is oona b, who had this to say about […]
on July 12, 2011 at 2:14 am hripsime andonian

When I garden, I love to listen to disco and the Beegies. They really get me going! 🙂
on July 12, 2011 at 6:46 pm lilly

the gogos!
on July 12, 2011 at 9:38 pm Marty J. Christopher

I blogged about those tattoos a while back, too! Soooo gorgeous!
on July 18, 2011 at 4:38 pm All Knocked Up, or, I Love How Slutty My Plants Are « The Alchemist

[…] like in that music video for “Love is a Battlefield,” and we’d dutifully share tutus with one another. And if someone crossed one of us, we’d make an example of him. Like […]
on August 4, 2011 at 9:43 am My Favoritest Stuffs and Things 8.3.2011 and Scandalously Awesomesauce Giveaway! « The Alchemist

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