New feature, misfits! “My Favoritest Stuffs and Things!”
Oprah I am not.
And a slammin’ giveaway, too, with details below. But first, a story about my disturbing gardening soundtrack.
So there I was in the cabbage patch, weeding in my gardening tutu (oh, don’t act so surprised), when I was not-so-gently reminded that, oh right, I have a gardening soundtrack.
Now I don’t mean a playlist (per se), though that’s really awesome and I want to hear about yours if you have one. No, my gardening soundtrack comes to me free of charge, courtesy of the “children” across the way and their “dog.” Quotation marks totally necessary, misfits.
One day, in an incident which I won’t go into but which I’d conservatively describe as, oh, MILDLY FUCKING DISTURBING, I discovered that what I thought was the dog was actually the children, and what I thought was the children was actually the dog. Allow me to explain.
The dog sounds like a child. Really. And the children …well…they don’t sound like children.
I present you with an Authentic Bad Mama Genny List of the things the children across the way sound like:
*A mama wolf tearing off the faces of her wolf pups.
*The proverbial chicken trying to cross the road and getting caught in the spokes of a bicycle.
*Arnold Schwarzenegger getting caught by Maria Shriver.
*A malfunctioning rape whistle set to a disco beat.
*Beautiful music, if beautiful music really sucked.
*The squealing of a pig eating a hot pocket which is boiling lava hot in the middle, thanks to the marvel of microwave cookery (Oh, Jim Gaffigan, you ARE the living end!)
*That weird life-size Barbie doll getting melted by a giant magnifying glass…if weird life-size Barbie doll could scream. Though that would never happen. If weird life-size Barbie doll COULD scream, she’d be doing it all the time because OH MY EFFING HELL I AM WEARING PLASTIC HIGH HEELS ALL THE TIME AND ACCORDING TO THE ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT PROPORTIONS OF MY GUMMY THIGHS I DO NOT POSSESS THE QUADRICEP STRENGTH TO MANAGE THIS.
*Two zombies. Making sweet, sweet zombie love. Yeah, I went there.
And speaking of zombies (HELLZ YES, MISFITS, WE’RE TOTALLY SPEAKING OF ZOMBIES! AGAIN! ), it’s time for the first ever edition of my Favoritest Stuffs and Things! Let’s get rolling, shall we?

Aww, heartwarming. It's good to know the zombies share my feelings about handwritten correspondence.
This is the computer game (gifted to me by my spooky-awesome friend Leonard) that I played for four straight hours the other night. When I went to bed, my eyes burned. From not blinking enough. Which, in case you were wondering, is the new definition of rock bottom.
According to the site, the premise is as follows:
“A mob of zombies is about to invade your home, and your only defense is an arsenal of zombie-zapping plants. Think fast and plant faster to stop the zombies dead in their tracks. And with five game modes to dig into, the fun never dies!”
Misfits…did somebody say “plants”? And, did somebody say, “zombies”? And, were those two somebodies actually just one somebody using the two terms in the same sentence?
I have seen the mountaintop, misfits! I have been to the Promised Land!
Try it free or buy it online for yourself or your favorite misfit homesteader here.
2. Stuck on This City Decorative Tape
I know many of all y’alls are urban homesteaders just trying to keep it real. Somehow I feel that this decorative cityscape tape would help one to keep something real. Just a feeling.
3. The “Flying Fuck” Helicopter
Misfits, it’s an actual flying “fuck.” So you can now, literally, “give a flying fuck”. I’m sorry, I…I…I’m choking up a little. It’s just…so beautiful.
These tattoos–which totally look UNLIKE tattoos, and more like brilliant watercolor paintings, are blowing my wittle mind. Check out the temporary distilled water tattoos, too–the design is formed by your blood, and disappears as it heals.
5. Sunny Submersible Ice Cube Set
These precious yellow submarine ice cubes…oooh! Last year, The Boy bought me an ice cube tray that produced Titanic and iceberg-shaped ice. In return for his awesomeness, he got a summer of my endlessly re-enacting the disaster in my gin gimlets while falsetto-ing “My Heart Will Go On” and promising Leo to never let go, only to go, “Oops! I let go!” two seconds later.
The Boy, he is a patient man.
But what if you wanted to have your own whimsical undercocktail adventures? What if you wanted to falsetto “Yellow Submarine” whilst seriously pissing off testing the patience of entertaining a “The Boy” of your own?
Well, that’s where my giveaway comes in, my twisted little kumquat pastries!
Leave a comment on this post telling me what’s on your gardening soundtrack/playlist, and you’ll be entered into a random drawing to win those ADORABLE little yellow submarine ice “cubes.” Want an extra chance? Follow me on Twitter for the first time, and leave a second comment here telling me that you did! I’ll randomly draw a winner on Monday, July 11th at noon…and announce the lucky misfit shortly after.
Ta, you lovely hot messes, you!
[…] Hosted by: The Alchemist Ending on: 07/11/2011 [Visit this giveaway] […]
80s Music! 🙂
Something with a loud beat like the Rapture – gardening is kind of dull so you have to spice it up
I guess my gardening soundtrack would be the sound of birds and tractors…unfortunately I’m probably not talented enough to multitask with real music and gardening!
i love listening to bluegrass…. Buddy Miller, Allison Krauss…..
i love listening to country music when gardening i think it annoys my hubby lol
following you on twitter!! @lnguinn
I love to listen to any Cowboy Mouth CD!
i just throw on top 40!
I let the neighbourhood entertain me, and it never fails. Not quite as alarmingly as yours, but I’m starting to know the barks of the dogs who happen by regularly.
Thanks for the chance to win!
–Liza
ejm6x (at) yahoo (dot) com
I think my soundtrack would include “every rose has its thorn”
I like to work outside with some mood music like Astrud Gilberto or Esquivel 🙂
Let’s see, it’s probably the oldest living garage band in the world (lucky me, I live next door) accompanied by the screams of feral cats fighting and the honking of a thousand Canada geese on the lake down the street. Ahh, summer!
I like to listen to Tribe Called Quest, anything but the wretched autotune music my daughter insists on playing 24-7!
Thanks! foxsquirrelrabbit at gmail dot com
Following you on Twitter (@glasscastle)
Thanks! foxsquirrelrabbit at gmail dot com
i love The Naked And Famous – Young Blood 😀 and coldplay.
following you on twitter as clujfaraflegme 🙂
[…] Comments « My Favoritest Stuffs and Things 7.5.2011 and GIVEAWAY, or, My Disturbing Gardening Soundtrack […]
Soundtrack from Dirty Dancing 😀
I am following you on twitter as isollea.
the xx is a good gardening soundtrack, no worries, just a free mind, taking in the breeze, waiting every minute for my sunflower to grow
[…] Enter This Giveaway: https://thealchemistblog.wordpress.com/2011/07/05/my-favoritest-stuffs-and-things-7-5-2011-and-giveaw… […]
i don’t listen to music while gardening..maybe i should
80’s music, all the way!
I follow you on Twitter as FallingInLight
I love me some Johnny Cash while I’m working in the yard.
marija.majerle at gmail dot com
following you on twitter @mrsclutterbuck
marija.majerle at gmail dot com
I like quiet, and the birds are my soundtrack.
follow you on twitter
robinlscott
Lady Gaga, of course!
fastkat at gmail dot com
Sadly my soundtrack is traffic. I live about 5 houses down from Main Street. Not ideal, but at least it’s mine. sort of.
Usually listen to a friend chattering…
Californication!
Can’t live without my Red Hot Chili Peppers!
Following on twitter @ninjabunyz1
Following on twitter
@natlayyy
Until I get an iPod or portable radio, my soundtrack is my own rather poor singing voice!
My soundtrack for gardening usually consists of Sublime, The Doors, Janis Joplin, & others. 🙂
Dana Beeman: danabeeman(at)gmail(dot)com
@hazelfinn follows @genevievecharet on Twitter.
Dana Beeman: danabeeman(at)gmail(dot)com
My soundtrack consists of the Grascals and other bluegrass groups, especially gospel bluegrass
granthamkk at yahoo dot com
karen
I am now following you on twitter (kegrantham78)
granthamkk at yahoo dot com
mariah carey!!
i follow u on twitter
I am so excited I found your site! I like you!!! My playlist needs some updating because at the moment Avril is singing about not liking my girlfriend:(
My gardening soundtrack is the sound of my 8 beautiful grandchildren running and playing in our yard near the garden. We are huge garden people and we really put up alot of food for the winter. This year we havent had much rain so our corn didnt make 😦 Anyway laughter and children singing would be my soundtrack.
Thanks, mimilovesall8@yahoo.com
I followed you on Twitter as andersonann48
Thanks, mimilovesall8@yahoo.com
Some drum and bass
Follow you on Twitter @elenarudaya
“I’m walking on sunshine” Katrina and the Waves
Gardening “soundtrack” is actually the voice of Elmer Fudd singing “Kill the wabbits…” As I fortify my chicken-wire enclosure. That, and Bob Dylan (they are potted plants, after all).
Contest officially closed, Misfits! Though my, did you ever keep your Bad Mama Genny entertained. Feel free to keep pilin’ on the comments, just without the promise of shiny new stuffs to keep you motivated. Thanks for the comment love, dollfaces!
[…] for entering last week’s contest, misfits! The winner, decided by a random number generator, is oona b, who had this to say about […]
When I garden, I love to listen to disco and the Beegies. They really get me going! 🙂
the gogos!
I blogged about those tattoos a while back, too! Soooo gorgeous!
[…] like in that music video for “Love is a Battlefield,” and we’d dutifully share tutus with one another. And if someone crossed one of us, we’d make an example of him. Like […]
[…] That’s right, misfits! Im’ma have you salivating over some totally righteous buyables with another installment of “My Favoritest Stuffs and Things!” Remember how much fun that was last time? […]