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Archive for the ‘My Favoritest Stuffs and Things’ Category

Unwarranted photo of Nicholas Cage with a rabid wombat eating his face by Kirk Weaver
 

Well, my little creative freaks, I am chock-full of misfititude today.  CHOCK-FULL, I SAY.

Which can only mean one thing:  I’m feeling generous.

Which can only mean one thing: You stand to benefit.

Which can only mean one thing: It’s time for another giveaway.

That’s right, misfits!  Im’ma have you salivating over some totally righteous buyables with another installment of “My Favoritest Stuffs and Things!”  Remember how much fun that was last time?

Yeah, me either, I was drunk, too.

So let’s not waste another moment, we’ve got a Bad Mama Genny Fueled Consumerism Frenzy to set in motion!

Bad Mama Genny Fueled Consumerism Frenzies.  They’re the American Way.

1. Glow Graffiti Light in a Can

Vandalism at its finest, people.  Do I need to tell you how much fun potential this stuff has?  Now, keep in mind, I’m not encouraging any unwanted property decoration.  Except on the abodes of Internet trolls.  Heh.  Heh.  HEH.

2.  Flower Grenades

Subversive item the second, misfits!  But this is one grenade that can do serious good.  How many abandoned lots do you pass on your commute every day?  Wouldn’t they be a whole lot sexier if they were full of wildflowers?

Absolutely, you say!

Bad Mama Genny, your logic is airtight, you say!

Oh, BMG, you have amazing hair with no flyaways whatsoever, you say!

What?  You totally said that.

3. Ben Venom’s Metal T-Shirt Quilts

Check out these Ben Venom metal t-shirt quilts featured on the Domestic Sluttery blog.  Fab, right?  They’re not cheap, but if you’re looking to spend on the metalhead in your life (uh, YOURSELF?! Chya!), I can’t think of anything cooler.

4. 8-bit Eyeglasses

This product espouses the nerd-chic movement (that’s a movement, right?) better than anything I’ve seen in like, oh, I dunno, ever or something.  They’re by dzmitrysamal.com and for anyone who was there to witness 8-bit while it was actually a thing, they are beautiful and touching in the heartstrings place.  A big thanks to Nicole Balch and her babble.com blog for pointing these out.

5.  Subversive Cross Stitch (Giveaway!)

People, this is everything that is awesome about arts and crafts minus everything that sucks, plus some serious attitude that is very much pleasing to the Bad Mama Genny person.  Can’t you see yourself happily stitching “Shut Your Whore Mouth” whilst listening to Foo Fighters and eating one spicy meat-a-ball?

I can.  In fact, I plan to.

They come in so many pleasing designs, too.  Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Get a jump start on the holiday cheer, bitches!

And Exhibit C:

And I’m giving away a FREE Basic Kit (includes fabric, thread, pattern, and instructions) of the winner’s choice to one lucky reader!

To Enter:

1 Chance: Leave a comment on this post telling me which cross stitch kit you’d choose (Check out your options here), and you’ll be entered into a random drawing to win it.

2 Chances: Want an extra go?  Follow me on Twitter for the first time, and leave a second comment here telling me that you did.

3 Chances: Still not enough for you?  Damn if you misfits aren’t demanding!  Well, I’m an obliging Bad Mama Genny.  Tweet a link to my blog’s homepage and leave a third comment telling me that you did.

You have until Thursday, August 11th at noon (CST) to enter, so hike up your fishnets and get going!  I’ll announce the lucky misfit shortly after.

Love and big red kisses,

BMG

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New feature, misfits!  “My Favoritest Stuffs and Things!”

Oprah I am not.

And a slammin’ giveaway, too, with details below.  But first, a story about my disturbing gardening soundtrack.

So there I was in the cabbage patch, weeding in my gardening tutu (oh, don’t act so surprised), when I was not-so-gently reminded that, oh right, I have a gardening soundtrack.

Now I don’t mean a playlist (per se), though that’s really awesome and I want to hear about yours if you have one.  No, my gardening soundtrack comes to me free of charge, courtesy of the “children” across the way and their “dog.”  Quotation marks totally necessary, misfits.

One day, in an incident which I won’t go into but which I’d conservatively describe as, oh, MILDLY FUCKING DISTURBING, I discovered that what I thought was the dog was actually the children, and what I thought was the children was actually the dog.  Allow me to explain.

The dog sounds like a child.  Really.  And the children …well…they don’t sound like children.

I present you with an Authentic Bad Mama Genny List of the things the children across the way sound like:
*A mama wolf tearing off the faces of her wolf pups.
*The proverbial chicken trying to cross the road and getting caught in the spokes of a bicycle.
*Arnold Schwarzenegger getting caught by Maria Shriver.
*A malfunctioning rape whistle set to a disco beat.
*Beautiful music, if beautiful music really sucked.
*The squealing of a pig eating a hot pocket which is boiling lava hot in the middle, thanks to the marvel of microwave cookery (Oh, Jim Gaffigan, you ARE the living end!)
*That weird life-size Barbie doll getting melted by a giant magnifying glass…if weird life-size Barbie doll could scream.  Though that would never happen.  If weird life-size Barbie doll COULD scream, she’d be doing it all the time because OH MY EFFING HELL I AM WEARING PLASTIC HIGH HEELS ALL THE TIME AND ACCORDING TO THE ANATOMICALLY INCORRECT PROPORTIONS OF MY GUMMY THIGHS I DO NOT POSSESS THE QUADRICEP STRENGTH TO MANAGE THIS.
*Two zombies.  Making sweet, sweet zombie love.  Yeah, I went there.

And speaking of zombies (HELLZ YES, MISFITS, WE’RE TOTALLY SPEAKING OF ZOMBIES! AGAIN! ), it’s time for the first ever edition of my Favoritest Stuffs and Things!  Let’s get rolling, shall we?

1. Plants vs. Zombies

Aww, heartwarming. It's good to know the zombies share my feelings about handwritten correspondence.

This is the computer game (gifted to me by my spooky-awesome friend Leonard) that I played for four straight hours the other night.  When I went to bed, my eyes burned.  From not blinking enough.  Which, in case you were wondering, is the new definition of rock bottom.
According to the site, the premise is as follows:
“A mob of zombies is about to invade your home, and your only defense is an arsenal of zombie-zapping plants. Think fast and plant faster to stop the zombies dead in their tracks. And with five game modes to dig into, the fun never dies!”

Misfits…did somebody say “plants”?  And, did somebody say, “zombies”?  And, were those two somebodies actually just one somebody using the two terms in the same sentence?

I have seen the mountaintop, misfits!  I have been to the Promised Land!

Try it free or buy it online for yourself or your favorite misfit homesteader here.

2.   Stuck on This City Decorative Tape

Photo from Modcloth.com

I know many of all y’alls are urban homesteaders just trying to keep it real.  Somehow I feel that this decorative cityscape tape would help one to keep something real.  Just a feeling.

3.  The “Flying Fuck” Helicopter

Photo from gadgetsandgear.com

Misfits, it’s an actual flying “fuck.”  So you can now, literally, “give a flying fuck”.  I’m sorry, I…I…I’m choking up a little.  It’s just…so beautiful.

4.  Amanda Wachob Tattoo

Photo from AmandaWachobTattoo.com

These tattoos–which totally look UNLIKE tattoos, and more like brilliant watercolor paintings, are blowing my wittle mind.  Check out the temporary distilled water tattoos, too–the design is formed by your blood, and disappears as it heals.

5.  Sunny Submersible Ice Cube Set

Photo from modcloth.com

These precious yellow submarine ice cubes…oooh!  Last year, The Boy bought me an ice cube tray that produced Titanic and iceberg-shaped ice.  In return for his awesomeness, he got a summer of my endlessly re-enacting the disaster in my gin gimlets while falsetto-ing “My Heart Will Go On” and promising Leo to never let go, only to go, “Oops! I let go!” two seconds later.

The Boy, he is a patient man.

But what if you wanted to have your own whimsical undercocktail adventures?  What if you wanted to falsetto “Yellow Submarine” whilst seriously pissing off   testing the patience of   entertaining a “The Boy” of your own?

Well, that’s where my giveaway comes in, my twisted little kumquat pastries!

Leave a comment on this post telling me what’s on your gardening soundtrack/playlist, and you’ll be entered into a random drawing to win those ADORABLE little yellow submarine ice “cubes.”  Want an extra chance?  Follow me on Twitter for the first time, and leave a second comment here telling me that you did!  I’ll randomly draw a winner on Monday, July 11th at noon…and announce the lucky misfit shortly after.

Ta, you lovely hot messes, you!

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