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**Psst!  I’ve since posted the recipe for this here.**

Spicy pickled escabeche, just like the kind you’d find on the tables at authentic taquerias.  Only this one is lacto-fermented, so it packs a sour, probiotic punch.

Shockingly addictive, and it also makes BMG feel pretty a-okay about tortilla chip and margarita dinners.

As if a sense of propriety were standing in my way?

PLEASE.

Happy weekend, misfits!

Any compulsive shoppers out there dodging calls from your therapists and looking for that next rush of endorphins?

Well, look no effing further!  Enabling is what I do best!  Apparently.

Bad Mama Genny is here once again to fulfill your misguided attempt to find real joy through consumerism!  Today’s installment has it all: corseted cake baking, Foo Fighters, Mr. Darcy, sneaking alcohol into baked goods, and EVEN a bloodthirsty killer who’s not so rude as to be unconcerned that you might burn yourself!

!!!

I’ll explain later.

Waste no time, misfits!  We leave at daybreak!**

**RELAX, nobody’s going anywhere at daybreak; I’ve just always wanted to say that.**

1. Least Wanted: A Century of American Mugshots

Found via this blog.

This book of American mugshots will have the misfit in you riveted and fantasizing about that life of crime you always meant to lead.  But of course, there’s no need to shell out the mega bucks if you’re bad enough to take this task on yourself.  BMG says, make a regular date with a photo booth near you and make your own mugshot book.  Of course, if you’re still not sold on the magic of photo booths, just watch Amelie.   Works for me EVERY TIME.

2. Booze Cakes


Salty-sweet Honey Spice Beer Cake, anyone?  Rum-and-Coke Whoopie Pies?  Jägermeister infused Deutsch German Chocolate Cake?  It’s all here, my boozy baby cakes…and it’s all FUN.

3.  The newest Foo Fighters album, “Wasting Light”

‘Cause BMG’s misfits need to rock out, too.  And who better to help you than one of our most esteemed patron saints, Dave Grohl?

4.  These Victorian Silver Measuring Spoons

Why do you need a set of measuring spoons that looks like fine, antique silverware?

YOUR MOM!

No seriously, your mom might like these.  It’s about as ladylike as we get around here.

Anyway, the real reason is so that you can make a cake whilst fancying yourself to be a saucy Victorian lady from a Jane Austen novel.  Then you can get all swoony when Mr. Darcy walks into the kitchen and samples the frosting from the bowl.  You’ll let it slide this time, but only because he tugged on your corset-laces so charmingly.  And because, hey.  It’s fucking Mr. Darcy.

5.  Jaws Oven Mitt  (giveaway)

If I have to tell you why this is awesome, I don’t think this is the right blog for you.

And I’m giving away a FREE mitt to one lucky misfit!

To Enter:
1 Chance: Leave a comment on this post telling me what you’d be pulling out of the oven while Jaws chows down on your succulent, meaty arms.
2 Chances: Want an extra go?  Follow me on Twitter for the first time, and leave a second comment here telling me that you did.
3 Chances: Still not enough for you?  Damn if you misfits aren’t demanding!  Well, I’m an obliging Bad Mama Genny.  Link to my blog on your blog and leave a comment with the link to your post.
You have until Friday, September 16th at noon (CST) to enter, so hike up your fishnets and get going!  I’ll announce the lucky misfit shortly after.

Love and big red kisses,
BMG

Misfits, I am blown away at the response I’ve received to this vegetarian, mayo-free pasta salad.

I mean, I invented it on a whim.  In the kitchen.  Just, on the fly.  Without any magic sauce (mayo).  And oh.  Wow.  My inbox/voicemail/motherfucking carrier falcons have been flooded with requests for the recipe.

And it’s a pretty risky thing to overwhelm a carrier falcon.  They have those badass talons and shit.  So that tells you how good this stuff must be.

It’s guaranteed to please, impress, and save lives.  Pretty much a sure thing in an uncertain world.  So basically, I’m like the Red Cross.

Exactly!

So I recommend that you use this pasta salad to mitigate the risk in life’s various tenuous moments.  That barbecue your lover’s boss is throwing?  Bring this.  Your friend’s casual patio potluck wedding shower but oh my god no one I mean no one likes the guy she’s marrying he’s such a mama’s boy you know it’s going to be an uphill battle against her witch MIL for their whole marriag–

Where the fuck was I?

Oh, right, bring the pasta salad.  Your first date picnic?  Stow this in your basket, snuggled safely between the sparkling wine and the contraceptives.

What?  WE WERE ALL THINKING IT.

So to let tomato and basil (and pesto) season pass us by and keep this recipe all to Bad Mama Genny’s self?  Would be unthinkable.  I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I’m too much of a cupcake.

And you’re just too adorable when you flash me those big, sad, misfit eyes.  Yes, you are!  Ooooh, YESH YOU ARE WHO’S ADORABULZ PEEKABOO YOU ARE YESH YOU ARE!

Let’s never again speak of this moment we’ve shared.

So here you go: BMG’s Caprese Pasta Salad.  Make it and be just like the Red Cross!

Apparently.

My Most Requested Recipe of the Year: BMG’s Caprese Pasta Salad


Go Get:
1 lb. pasta (Campanelle is a great, dramatic shape for this, I used farfalle this time)
2 pints cherry tomatoes, halved (or several large tomatoes, diced, with extra tomato juice squeezed out for another use)
1 lb. small, fresh mozzarella balls, halved (or if you’re using one large mozzarella ball, cut into 1/2 inch chunks)
1/2 red onion, diced small
3 cloves garlic
1 teaspoon sea salt
freshly ground pepper (a little coarse is best)
2 lemons, juiced
olive oil (about 6-8 Tablespoons, give or take)
a generous handful of fresh basil, chiffonaded finely; if it’s out of season, use 2 pesto buttons
3/4 to 1 cup grated pecorino romano cheese, depending on your tastes (parmesan works, too, but the flavor will be different)

Go Do:
Boil the pasta, keeping it pretty al dente. Rinse under cold water, toss with a bit of olive oil, and leave out about 2-3 cups for another use (otherwise it’s too many noodles).

Toss the tomatoes, red onion, basil strips, and mozzarella balls with the pasta.

In a large bowl, use a fork to smash 3 cloves of garlic into the salt and some freshly ground pepper.

When it’s a chunky paste, whisk in the lemon juice.  Now, while still whisking, drizzle in the olive oil.  Taste it.  Is it too sour?  Add a little more olive oil.  If you’re using pesto sauce instead of basil, whisk it in until evenly distributed.

Now use that fork to incorporate the pecorino romano cheese.  This dressing will be thicker than your average vinaigrette–kind of like a runny paste.  Add until you like the taste and texture.

Now toss the pasta stuff with the dressing stuff.

Taste it.  Adjust the salt, pepper, or cheese if necessary.  Refrigerate until serving.

What did you think I was talking about?

Happy weekend, misfits!

Hugs and big red kisses,

Bad Mama Genny

By Mila Zinkova. Edited by Alvesgaspar

Heya, moonshining misfits!

It’s time to hike up your fishnets and…

clean.

I know.  That doesn’t sound badass at all.  But if you want to make your own beer, wine, and spirits, you need to know how to do this stuff.  This post will be my resource for you

Whenever you’re making alcohol and dealing with the long-term process of fermentation, you’ll need to first cleanse, then rinse, then sanitize any equipment that isn’t getting boiled.  The results if you slack off could be grody, unsafe, and unpredictable.

Sometimes grody, unsafe, and unpredictable conditions make for good times!  Not in moonshining, though.

The Boy brews beer professionally, and he turned me onto a simple system that I love and use every time I make beer or wine.

Get three 5-gallon buckets from the hardware store.  Label the first “Cleansing,” the second “Rinsing,” and the third, “Sanitizing.”  Now let’s talk about the mixtures that go into each–you have “best” options, and you have “cheap-ass” options:

Cleansing
The best option: PBW or B-Brite diluted per the manufacturer’s instructions with HOT water.
The cheap-ass option: A bit of dish soap dissolved in HOT water, though it may leave a residue that can affect the finished product.

Rinsing
Fresh, HOT water.

Sanitizing
The best option: BTF Iodophor diluted per the manufacturer’s instructions with COLD water.
The cheap-ass option:  A mixture of unscented bleach and water –1 ounce bleach per 5 gallons of water.  After doing this, you should rinse with water again and again AND OH HOLY HELL AGAIN to eliminate any remaining chlorine smell.  For obvious reasons, I’m not a fan of the bleach method, but it works.

If filling buckets in your sink seems a bit unwieldy, do like we’ve done and buy a new garden hose and sink adaptor that you can attach to your faucet.  This gives you the flexibility to work anywhere in your kitchen, and prevents you from having to do so much lifting and spilling.

The Process (you may need to do this in batches):

1) Fill the three buckets with their appropriate mixtures (see above).

2) Put items into the cleanser solution, being sure to hold any hollow items under the surface until they expel enough air to sink.  For hoses and tubing, slowly insert one end into the mixture, then gradually drop its length into the bucket, snaking around the sides-this prevents air bubble formation and ensures proper coverage.  All sides of all pieces, including the insides, need to be in contact with the cleanser for at least a minute, 2-3 minutes being preferable.

3) Move the freshly cleansed items into the rinse bucket in the same thorough fashion, agitating the items until the cleanser is off (items won’t have that slippery soap feel anymore).

4) Drop the items into the sanitizer, again taking care to coat everything and prevent air bubbles, and leave them there for at least 3 minutes.

Whoohoo!  Now you’re about as clean as you dirty, dirty misfits are gonna get.  Who knew sanitizing could be such a turn-on?

Ready to make some booze-o-hol?  Okay!

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